Hello again Internet.

today is wednesday. the sixth of july. usual headache and melancholy, maybe better reasons.... blah blah blah

last weekend, fourth of july weekend, pretty lacklustre... okay, i did check out a couple shows, but i can't even remember what... oh, an interesting band from Japan played in the Entry on Saturday. Orange Milk from the Green Planet or somesuch... they were alright.
Monday I hung out with some friends and we were going to do some cool shit, but my dumb drunk ass managed to get seperated from them as we were heading over to the Soap Factory... I ended up wondering around kinda lost(I wouldn't have been lost had I been less drunk/stupid, I had the address of the gallery in my pocket) for a couple hours then heading home... Probably for the best though, apparently I was being really obnoxious and grabbed my friend's hot boyfriend's crotch a couple times... Ack. The wayl she tells the tale is pretty funny, and being that I was quite drunk I was forgiven, but still... quite embarassed.

Here's a partial acct. of previous weekend and other stuff in my life from a posting of mine on another site, somewhat re-edited:

"DwI taping was awesome(that was the sunday before last now, or something like that, I don't even fucking remember anymore), as it generally is. Caught part of the Pride parade Sunday, but was busy wrangling cable whilst DwI host did some on the street interviews. Fun, but didn't actually catch alot of the parade.

Awesomest thing Sunday night/Monday morning... okay, mixed sort-of. Got kicked out of a party(sort-of... not going into it here, yo) but ended up hanging out with this sweet guy I have a crush on. We listened to records (anyone heard of the Virgin Prunes, they're awesome! Buying a cd as soon as I got the dough...) and hung out... smoked too many of his cigarettes, had good time(no, not that kind of good time, said fellow and I are just pals)...

Bad shit too... found out Tuesday that my Mom, who's been battling(and winning) ovarian cancer for the second time (since around Januray, the first time was about 3-4 years ago) just found a small tumor in her breast. It sounds like she'll be having a double mastectomy as soon as it can be set up, she's got doc appts towards the end of next week. I'm trying to figure out how to go there for a couple weeks and make sure I can pay rent in August. I was just trying to find a shity job to work till school starts in a coupla months, but since I'll be leaving town in a week or so...
It actually doesn't sound that bad for Mom, though she's really sick of dealing with this shit... she lost her Mom to cancer when she was 12 and one of her sisters 3 years ago, as well as a close friend. And she's seen other friends and family suffer from it. She's hella tough though, and I am sure she'll make it through okay.

And of course this has me thinking about my own health. I'm 27 and cancer seems to be hitting the females in my family younger and younger. I'm kinda freaked out. I'm nowhere near as tough as Mom and I'm already somewhat unhealthy, broke, and such. Damn. And it really seems hella likely I will have to deal with this, quite probably in the next 5 years...
I should quit smoking, exercise, eat better, etc. But I can't help thinking, fuck it. If I die, I die. I mean... It just seems really likely to my mind that I am gonna die from this shit anyway so what's the point in putting too much work into living? "

yeah, so that's a week or so old now. time is passing in strange ways for me lately and I've spent too much time sleeping and/or being angry and depressed.
this weekend looks alright, some good shows, hopefully I can stretch my moneys so I can see most of 'em. Maybe win guestlist spots from good 'ol Radio K.
heading to Duluth soon to hang out with Mom, having problems figuring out what to do for funds since it kinda puts a kabosh on my plan to find a crappy job quick. I'll sell some miscellany on ebay or something.
slowing down on the drinking thing, just seems smart. and I'm on a short term med that apparently will interact with alcohol to make me nauseous so for the next 7 days I have little choice...
okay, i'm hungry and sick of internet. later peeps.