back in bloggyland and stuff and myriad miscalleneous thoughts..............

i like the dark.
i'm trying to escape the internet and drink more liquor.
i have a few friends whose company i enjoy immensely, though i could always use more.
and i seem to have lost a few good friends recently, but am waiting for confirmation...
oh well.
i also have many interesting peeps i talk to online. though i am trying to not be so wasteful of time on thee mighty internet.
i like to read books. i am currently reading cosmic trigger by robert anton wilson and also the satanic bible by anton szandor lavey. gee i just realized that makes two antons, sort of and i was rather thinking there are things these books have in common, the small bits i have read thus far anyhow. i am also sort of rereading a wild sheep chase by haruki murakami. of course since i am still spending far too much time online, this is all going rather slowly. i have a small vocabulary building book i picked up cheap too and am carrying that around. also there is the buddhist book i am/were reading- a path with heart by jack kornfield. which i am sort of on hiatus from, but will probably skip back to soon b/c i am thinking of having a go at the buddhist thing again now that i am starting to try and get my shit together, after a rather long hiatus from having my shit together in any fashion at all... my shit is still pretty fucked, but i am sorta getting out from under stuff... and trying doing things that i need to be doing... blah etc slowly and haphazardly with little commitment and not so much effort but stumbling towards maybe doing things that need to be done in my life... something like that... haphazardly fumbling with little committed effort... hmmm sounds about right... need more whiskey! i can put a little effort into that... lol... am i going down or up? who the fuck knows... we'll see... ask me in a couple months, if i am still breathing and functional...

 i am also trying some new things, looking for some new things to try, using the internet as an aide for finding my way.... can't say too much more about that actually, funny though i started this blog to somewhat anonymously express miscellaneous myriad thoughts without inhibition... well now i don't want some of my friends/peeps i know who *may* read this to know some of the miscellaneous myriad things i may be up to. lol... i'll have to start another more anonymous blog to babble about that...
 and then i'll give that url to my friends who i don't mind knowing about the stuff i am not disclosing now
 then i will do something i don't want them to know about and i'll have to start an even more secretive and discrete blog.

 dammit.

     i will try to be more regular about updating this, if you read this thing and have some thought to share plz do share a thought so that i know that someone actually is reading this and that will motivate me to bother to post more.

  i am going to go drink now. no, not that whiskey i was going on about, just some water. my head is sore and needs watering...

life is crazy. fucking fuck. i want it to be crazier... like a doing shit going crazy sorta thing instead of a sitting around doing nothing fuck this shit it's crazy sort of thing... something like that. wake up fucker! <<-note to self