i have started another blog, a music blog. click this spot, yo
that is it. i am right now having polysics and aburadako at my blog. yay blog! yay polysics! yay aburadako! go check it out!
10.28.2005
once upon a time there was a girl who got no sleep...
halloween mash-ups! mp3's! you have till monday to download and listen to these!
in other news, i have a headache, am thirsty, and quite sleepy. Hey, it's 5:32 in the morning.
ooh> big news>
the Walker Art Center are showing all 5 movies in Mathew Barney's Cremaster Cycle this weekend!
schedule:
Cremaster 1
Friday, October 28 8:00 pm
Cremaster 2
Saturday, October 29 3:00 pm
Cremaster 3
Saturday, October 29 7:00 pm
Cremaster 4
Sunday, October 30 2:00 pm
Cremaster 5
Sunday, October 30 4:00 pm
yay!
testing something new and exciting
is there music there? is there? i hope this works!
i'm listening to Tori Amos right now, but that has naught at all to do with whatever's up above this text. am clicking publish now with fingers cross-ed.
10.26.2005
bastard pantsu
good morning internet!
i am thirsty!
i am not dressing up for halloween, being a zero fun lame-o dufus or somesuch.
i am having such a terrible quandary about my weekend.
3 of my favoritest local bands and also some other bands i kind of like and one i have been wanting to check
out for a long time now that is not local
are all playing
in different venues
on the same day, saturday 10/29
1. Belles of Skin City, Mel Gibson and the Pants, Digitata, and 1 more
at the Nomad World Pub(linx in sidebar!)
2. Savage Aural Hotbed at the Cedar Cultural Center(Cedar in sidebar, need to add SAH link)
3. STNNNG and some others at the Whole in Coffman Union(linx-sidebar)
4. Garmonbozia, and some other bands most of which I saw one other time and super enjoyed, at the 7th Street Entry.
Benefit for Arise! bookstore(I should find site and link). there is an earlier aa show also but Garmonbozia is only playing the late show, and I have been meaning to
check 'em out for a long time.
At the moment I am thinking that my intentions are, if financially feasible, to attend early Entry show, than bounce
back and forth between Nomad and Cedar as they are across street from eachother.
I will see STNNNG next month. LUNCH SHOW! YEAH!
I am sure Garmonbozia will be here again, they seem to pass through very often.
Now that I have began to organize my saturday, I shall go back to wishing for cold water. I can't actually get cold water
b/c I am at the U in a computer lab where I am not exactly supposed to be at this hour, so I don't wanna venture out just yet. Must wait till official opening time in
aproximately one hour.
I don't know that there is anything I can do about wanting cheesecake today.
I bave been being on time for work this week by dint of doing this staying up all nite shite. if it works, it works. i
need my job. and it is extra time to work on skool work and art prj for art classes and such. except that i am usually to foggy sleepy impatient and such to do that.
like, i have a prj due this very afternoon,
which i have not completed despite sitting up all nite at computer where i could work on it.
i am ever so irresponsible. very very. sometimes. altogether too often.
Enough babble for one day. or at least for now at early a.m. time. it is entirely possible i will get wordy on my internet
bloggy later in day.
i have too much internet now. am trying to explore myspace further, have another blog, trying to establish webpage, online
presence at mnartists.org (i think that's the site... need look up and link...), also have suicide girls acct., they got forums and bloggy/journal space too. and i
have a livejournal but i have never really used it since signing up. and also i have a second blog here i have been neglecting. and of course being random weirdo
at tcpunk.com, mostly tho i lately have been lurking, seems not many notice when i post there anyhow...
aagh. aagh. aagh.
NP:
10.24.2005
pass the soap, sing a song
--------my life is now a soap opera---------
who'd a' thunk such things would happen to me? ;)
who'd a' thunk such things would happen to me? ;)
not bad
so, some fooling around with the boy today, mentioned him in prior post. he's a real sweetheart. i'm feeling pretty happy, though a little nervous that he might somehow be less into it than I... but I think we're pretty much on the same page...
the problem with me is that I am kind of confused about what I want out of it... I don't really want a full fledged gung ho romantic committed relationship. But I like the guy. I want the guy to like me. At the moment, I think it's good. Really, I'm grinning ear to ear, but am still a little paranoid that maybe he's dissatisfied somehow or something... yeah.
I am not sure why I feel compelled to let the whole internet know this, especially considering I am not even all that anonymous here ...
Dorkus Dumbassus, yeah.
oh well, boy doesn't know about my blog yet. not all that many people do. so it's okay... might as well just piss it all out in the vast anonymous pool of the internet... (chlorine? whatever...)
(does this metaphor suck? hmm.)
--
of course I am still broken-hearted over the crush of 2 years that ain't interested in me. aagh. but then, the boy I'm foolin' with now and I aren't a serious item... we're going to move on at some point. hopefully he'll find a woman that will really appreciate him...
see neither of us are necessarily that attractive, though honestly i think he is(now that I know him, and before I knew him I didn't make a judgement, I actually do care more about what a person's like and value whole selves over mere appearances)...
and apparently he thinks I am too or we wouldn't be messing about...
i dunno. he's been single for a while, and laments not being appreciated as he deserves b/c he ain't hot and people pay more attention to looks than personality... of course, I agree. Hopefully we can help eachother a bit.
--
ah internet, here I go telling you all my secrets...
the problem with me is that I am kind of confused about what I want out of it... I don't really want a full fledged gung ho romantic committed relationship. But I like the guy. I want the guy to like me. At the moment, I think it's good. Really, I'm grinning ear to ear, but am still a little paranoid that maybe he's dissatisfied somehow or something... yeah.
I am not sure why I feel compelled to let the whole internet know this, especially considering I am not even all that anonymous here ...
Dorkus Dumbassus, yeah.
oh well, boy doesn't know about my blog yet. not all that many people do. so it's okay... might as well just piss it all out in the vast anonymous pool of the internet... (chlorine? whatever...)
(does this metaphor suck? hmm.)
--
of course I am still broken-hearted over the crush of 2 years that ain't interested in me. aagh. but then, the boy I'm foolin' with now and I aren't a serious item... we're going to move on at some point. hopefully he'll find a woman that will really appreciate him...
see neither of us are necessarily that attractive, though honestly i think he is(now that I know him, and before I knew him I didn't make a judgement, I actually do care more about what a person's like and value whole selves over mere appearances)...
and apparently he thinks I am too or we wouldn't be messing about...
i dunno. he's been single for a while, and laments not being appreciated as he deserves b/c he ain't hot and people pay more attention to looks than personality... of course, I agree. Hopefully we can help eachother a bit.
--
ah internet, here I go telling you all my secrets...
10.21.2005
dunno...whatever
so i'm feeling kind of blah. work's got me stressed yet, still have my job for now. Actually really screwed up this morning and was 40 minutes late but luckily I work with different people Friday and also wasn't absolutely needed before 9 b/c I was doing camera and they weren't ready to shoot yet anyway. but a close call nonetheless. Now I'm really thinking I can't sleep Sun, Tues, and Thurs nights. Just hang out on campus all night, get some schoolwork done/stay on top of my reading. No big harm in it really I guess... if I actually go home and sleep as soon as I can but I'm no good at that... blah.
In other news, there's this guy I'm fooling around with. We've just kind of decided to be "friends with benefits" 'cuz we're both single and horny. We haven't fooled around much really as we don't have a good location to go(he lives in suburb, I'm off-campus and need to pick up my apartment) and also he's always too busy to hang out.
I like having somebody to fool around with a bit, to touch and be affectionate towards(even if it's not a romantic relationship) and whatnot. Needless to say, I am also not having any moral quandaries about fooling around without being in a romantic or monagamous relationship. But I am just sad and lonely and in a way it hurts to have someone that close but not closer... I don't want a monogamous boyfriend girlfriend sort of thing with him right now, but I'd like more affection and more time together. I really want to be held and cuddled and whatnot... It's intensely frustrating. But the arrangement we originally discussed just involved being friends and also being sexually involved, as time allowed. I already feel that I'm being too demanding pushing him to hang out with me more and wanting more attention from him, he's just too busy- works alot and has a lot of school stuff to keep up with too. what to do, what to do?
Meanwhile, my Mom's having a really tough time of things... life is just going really shitty for her right now... she might lose her job/health insurance next month, is having some other health problems right now besides just the cancer, and has to try and move because living with my alcoholic aunt isn't working well but even though there's finally a spot for her in one of the assisted living complexes she's short the amount she'd need to pay to move in. It's insane. And her dog, they've been together 10 years or so now and she can't bring him with to the assisted living place which is really getting her down. My brother's going to look after him until she's well enough to get another place, she's not giving him up entirely. But it'll hard and she's already gone through so much...
School's not going too badly at least. It could be way better though. Gots ta focus, I do... and get better sleep too.
In other news, there's this guy I'm fooling around with. We've just kind of decided to be "friends with benefits" 'cuz we're both single and horny. We haven't fooled around much really as we don't have a good location to go(he lives in suburb, I'm off-campus and need to pick up my apartment) and also he's always too busy to hang out.
I like having somebody to fool around with a bit, to touch and be affectionate towards(even if it's not a romantic relationship) and whatnot. Needless to say, I am also not having any moral quandaries about fooling around without being in a romantic or monagamous relationship. But I am just sad and lonely and in a way it hurts to have someone that close but not closer... I don't want a monogamous boyfriend girlfriend sort of thing with him right now, but I'd like more affection and more time together. I really want to be held and cuddled and whatnot... It's intensely frustrating. But the arrangement we originally discussed just involved being friends and also being sexually involved, as time allowed. I already feel that I'm being too demanding pushing him to hang out with me more and wanting more attention from him, he's just too busy- works alot and has a lot of school stuff to keep up with too. what to do, what to do?
Meanwhile, my Mom's having a really tough time of things... life is just going really shitty for her right now... she might lose her job/health insurance next month, is having some other health problems right now besides just the cancer, and has to try and move because living with my alcoholic aunt isn't working well but even though there's finally a spot for her in one of the assisted living complexes she's short the amount she'd need to pay to move in. It's insane. And her dog, they've been together 10 years or so now and she can't bring him with to the assisted living place which is really getting her down. My brother's going to look after him until she's well enough to get another place, she's not giving him up entirely. But it'll hard and she's already gone through so much...
School's not going too badly at least. It could be way better though. Gots ta focus, I do... and get better sleep too.
10.19.2005
greasy octopus love
i need a shower! i'm still on campus! what's wrong with me? ...i like sleep deprivation, but i am hungry.
anyway, been working on organizing mp3 collection and started listening to aburadako again... "greasy octopus"
if'n i knew how to put an mp3 up here... dang it. good stuff!
anyway, been working on organizing mp3 collection and started listening to aburadako again... "greasy octopus"
if'n i knew how to put an mp3 up here... dang it. good stuff!
yay. more miscellaneous problems to have nervous breakdown over.
gee, when am i gonna have something pleasant and happy to post here? well, i'm excited about working on secondary webpage for links, and may work on getting more shite plastered onto interweb hither and thither...
so, i'm terrified of going to work this morning. it's 3:45. i work at 8. this is a.m.
see, i am sitting up all nite in a u of mn computer lab b/c if i go home and sleep, i'll probably be late for work. i have been late for work the majority of mornings(m & w) since the beginning of semester. am on the verge of getting fired. i am part of tech support in u of mn's video production studio(s) in the theatre dept. the instructor of the class which i provide tech support on m and w mornings is quite irritated with my chronic tardiness and has tried talking to the guy in charge of the studios about firing me... luckily i have kept at least somewhat on top of talking to guy in charge myself and assuring him i do not intend to make a habit of this tardiness... so he's giving me one more chance, i guess. if i piss off the instructor of class i do tech support for again, i will likely be terminated entirely from the studio crew. i don't take the tardiness lightly, i'm not being late on purpose, it's very frustrating. it just seems like the gods like throwing stones in my path or something. of course, if i don't take control of my destiny instead of blaming it on bad luck, i guess i'm fucked. i dunno... but it seems that no matter how much i try to make it on time, something happens. i have diarrhea, get a nosebleed, take too long in the shower, get stuck waiting for a roommate to get out of the bathroom, can't find my keys/clean socks/some other important thing... aagh. and now i am scared that even if i am totally on time, the instructor is going to tell me to get lost and i'll get fired... or something... i am scared! even more frustrating is the fact that i really like the guy! of course, he basically likes me too... we kind of have a rapport, but he can't tolerate the unprofessionalism of my constant tardiness.
and of course i love my job!
so now i don't know what the heck to do. my boss gave me a chance to just withdraw from the shift when my tardiness first became an issue and i chose to try and stick it out and actually did show up on time for a couple weeks... but now shite's going all wonky again. if i'd given better excuses when it first came up, or asked to drop the shift, i might not be on the verge of getting fired. and now it probably looks terrible to start whining about all the stress i'm under and chronic stomach woes and whatnot... but i couldn't help it, i ended up sending an email whining about such things(tho hopefully not in too whiney of a tone... just over-explanatory i suppose) to my boss anyhow... and stressing how much i value and love my job there. jeez... i swear i stopped just short of telling him he'd be responsible for my nervous breakdown if he fired me :( ... ;) well, i don't think it was quite that bad...
i really don't want to lose this shift either, in addition to liking working with the instructor and enjoying his class, i really like my coworkers on that shift ... crappity crap...
so, i'm terrified of going to work this morning. it's 3:45. i work at 8. this is a.m.
see, i am sitting up all nite in a u of mn computer lab b/c if i go home and sleep, i'll probably be late for work. i have been late for work the majority of mornings(m & w) since the beginning of semester. am on the verge of getting fired. i am part of tech support in u of mn's video production studio(s) in the theatre dept. the instructor of the class which i provide tech support on m and w mornings is quite irritated with my chronic tardiness and has tried talking to the guy in charge of the studios about firing me... luckily i have kept at least somewhat on top of talking to guy in charge myself and assuring him i do not intend to make a habit of this tardiness... so he's giving me one more chance, i guess. if i piss off the instructor of class i do tech support for again, i will likely be terminated entirely from the studio crew. i don't take the tardiness lightly, i'm not being late on purpose, it's very frustrating. it just seems like the gods like throwing stones in my path or something. of course, if i don't take control of my destiny instead of blaming it on bad luck, i guess i'm fucked. i dunno... but it seems that no matter how much i try to make it on time, something happens. i have diarrhea, get a nosebleed, take too long in the shower, get stuck waiting for a roommate to get out of the bathroom, can't find my keys/clean socks/some other important thing... aagh. and now i am scared that even if i am totally on time, the instructor is going to tell me to get lost and i'll get fired... or something... i am scared! even more frustrating is the fact that i really like the guy! of course, he basically likes me too... we kind of have a rapport, but he can't tolerate the unprofessionalism of my constant tardiness.
and of course i love my job!
so now i don't know what the heck to do. my boss gave me a chance to just withdraw from the shift when my tardiness first became an issue and i chose to try and stick it out and actually did show up on time for a couple weeks... but now shite's going all wonky again. if i'd given better excuses when it first came up, or asked to drop the shift, i might not be on the verge of getting fired. and now it probably looks terrible to start whining about all the stress i'm under and chronic stomach woes and whatnot... but i couldn't help it, i ended up sending an email whining about such things(tho hopefully not in too whiney of a tone... just over-explanatory i suppose) to my boss anyhow... and stressing how much i value and love my job there. jeez... i swear i stopped just short of telling him he'd be responsible for my nervous breakdown if he fired me :( ... ;) well, i don't think it was quite that bad...
i really don't want to lose this shift either, in addition to liking working with the instructor and enjoying his class, i really like my coworkers on that shift ... crappity crap...
10.15.2005
links are going up, being organized
Hi! This is some news! I am trying to comprehensively toss on links to all manner of places of great excitement on our lovely interweb that I suggest you visit! Some of these links are to sites featuring places or things you can visit in person in the lovely area known as Twin Cities and hereabouts! Do look at these links and go to these websites! Thee interweb is a magical place and I am trying to assist in your exploration! Go forth and explore!
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