damned hyper internet obsession what hell wrong with me posting again already

 i am thinking i might just start smoking again because it helps and it beats sitting here not wanting to leave the house messing around on the internet. if having a cigarette makes it easier to deal with the world maybe it would be
better to just get a pack and let myself do it for now and quit when i feel more ready?

 i don't know if it's going to help anything though. maybe if i just get off my ass and start doing. minus cigarettes. it just feels like it'd be easier for me to get up and get out there and do what i need to with a cigarette. 
 
 wtf?

 i wonder if i should just try and it see? but if it helps maybe that just makes more addicted and i shoud still ride this out without smoking? 

aagh.